"it" just moved
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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