I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
