Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
