Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You brought string cheese to the strip club
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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