I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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