Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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