I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
