He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think my nap took me to another dimension
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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