we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
