too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED