My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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