Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.

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(586): My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis. http://tfl.nu/m0vb

Replies (20) Good night (1128) Bad night (4415)
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(214): View more from Texas

He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.

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(214): He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating. http://tfl.nu/pak1

Replies (5) Good night (493) Bad night (3311)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...

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(704): Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered... http://tfl.nu/j2as

Replies (44) Good night (3547) Bad night (2025)
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(707): View more from California

You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"

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(707): You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip" http://tfl.nu/cn9w

Replies (6) Good night (3518) Bad night (1096)
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(406): View more from Montana

There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!

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(406): There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go! http://tfl.nu/765a

Replies (9) Good night (2608) Bad night (778)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch

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(919): when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch http://tfl.nu/y99x

Replies (20) Good night (1227) Bad night (3209)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree

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(401): i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree http://tfl.nu/su4s

Replies (3) Good night (1954) Bad night (815)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you

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(304): Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you http://tfl.nu/fgii

Replies (20) Good night (2881) Bad night (970)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin

(774): View more from Massachusetts

He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying

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(774): Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin (774): He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying http://tfl.nu/waxr

Replies (3) Good night (1981) Bad night (521)
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(315): View more from New York

That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?

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(315): That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad? http://tfl.nu/bcm2

Replies (13) Good night (1381) Bad night (461)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.

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(541): Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet. http://tfl.nu/2bxm

Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (824)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.

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(423): I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way. http://tfl.nu/5vvj

Replies (5) Good night (1018) Bad night (330)
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(315): View more from New York

Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.

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(315): Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure. http://tfl.nu/q5fs

Replies (4) Good night (454) Bad night (320)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.

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(973): I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early. http://tfl.nu/apcg

Replies (3) Good night (746) Bad night (275)
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(562): View more from California

The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons

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(562): The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons http://tfl.nu/bjub

Replies (0) Good night (318) Bad night (173)

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