Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  awkward

  (309): View more from Illinois

  no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.

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  (309): so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school (1-309): awkward (309): no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/y6uz
  Replies (12) Good night (1142) Bad night (2678)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.

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  (910): no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender. http://tfl.nu/cz6b
  Replies (16) Good night (668) Bad night (1930)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.

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  (303): Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming. http://tfl.nu/sem8
  Replies (41) Good night (838) Bad night (4529)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night

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  (817): i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night http://tfl.nu/17kd
  Replies (11) Good night (1330) Bad night (6177)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning

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  (914): Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning http://tfl.nu/cata
  Replies (56) Good night (1133) Bad night (5181)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.

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  (562): So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later. http://tfl.nu/b9wm
  Replies (17) Good night (5537) Bad night (1061)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.

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  (289): eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks. http://tfl.nu/9rpm
  Replies (8) Good night (3025) Bad night (1268)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.

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  (305): Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after. http://tfl.nu/e8fo
  Replies (9) Good night (1010) Bad night (2286)
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  (716): View more from New York

  She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..

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  (716): She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet.. http://tfl.nu/0ox8
  Replies (4) Good night (2242) Bad night (1041)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out

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  (210): My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out http://tfl.nu/di5z
  Replies (48) Good night (1488) Bad night (6695)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  How much did you drink?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea

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  (630): How much did you drink? (708): Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea http://tfl.nu/hfkt
  Replies (2) Good night (1232) Bad night (692)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time

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  (860): It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time http://tfl.nu/gqs4
  Replies (1) Good night (627) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.

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  (785): You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised. http://tfl.nu/dvsv
  Replies (0) Good night (448) Bad night (372)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo

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  (678): I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/5itz
  Replies (0) Good night (236) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.

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  (941): Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested. http://tfl.nu/uoo2
  Replies (2) Good night (203) Bad night (585)

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