I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Every concussion has its silver lining
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.