I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
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You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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