I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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