How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
