Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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