i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
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Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
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He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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