i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
