So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
