im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
