Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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