hotel room ftw
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
