no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
ugly people sure do ruin things
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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