her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
