very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize