thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
