We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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