dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize