Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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