oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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