I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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