Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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