Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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