I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
