There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
