How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
even my farts smell like vagina
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
