my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize