my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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