He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You should frame my arrest warrant.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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