Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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