he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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