yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Randomize
