Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
