Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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