haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it hurts more in the daytime
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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