is your mom at the bar?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
