She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i've created a new STD.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
