Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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