I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you didnt know i had herpes?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
