Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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