You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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