I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
