just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
