mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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