guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
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Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
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First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.