I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.