dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just sucked dick on a ferry