He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
