So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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