We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You're a waste of cheezeits
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
