yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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