Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
