i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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