Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Randomize
